My First Mother's Day <3
Hi everyone! How are you doing? Happy Belated Mother's Day! Whether it was your first Mother's Day, or your fifth, whether you're having trouble conceiving, or are pregnant and have no clue what to do: yesterday was for all of us. I hope you celebrated whatever way makes you feel good and whole.
I read this really beautiful quote recently, and it really resonated with me and my first year (well, technically first eight months) as a mother:
“The most difficult part of birth is the first year afterwards. It is the year of travail - when the soul of a woman must birth the mother inside her. The emotional labour pains of becoming a mother are far greater than the physical pangs of birth; these are the growing surges of your heart as it pushes out selfishness and fear and makes room for sacrifice and love. It is a private and silent birth of the soul, but it is no less holy than the event of childbirth, perhaps it is even more sacred.” -Joy Kusek
This year, M (though he claims it was all Ximena) made me a video. I cried my eyes out, guys. It had clips from places I took Ximena even before I knew I had the honor of carrying her, then photos of all the snacks I ate while my belly grew and grew (SO many snacks), it had clips from when I was laboring at home, from the day I met her, all the times we have fallen asleep together (on our rocking chair, of course)... It was “narrated” by Ximena, with captions like “The day I met my mami,” and “My mami is so beautiful.”
It’s easy to get caught up in the internal dialogue of what more you should be doing as a mother. Then someone else captures all that you have been through, and all that you are doing. It literally took my breath away.
I am so lucky to be Ximena’s mom. I am so lucky that I even got to give birth to a healthy, beautiful child in the first place. I’ve shared my story too many times to tell, so I won’t get into it again. But I just want to express my gratitude for my daughter today and always.
Also for my own mama. She has shown Ximena and myself nothing but love. Unconditional, insane amounts of love. I have always felt so supported by her, but now that I’m a mom, she is my rock.
As always, thanks for following along.