Dear Deli Counter Asshole
Yesterday, while I was doing some grocery shopping, I had one of those experiences you read about all the time. I know I’ve heard this story before; I have probably (unintentionally!) made a mom feel the way I felt yesterday… For that, I apologize. My anger has subsided since yesterday, but the sentiment remains.
Dear Deli Counter Asshole,
No, it’s actually not okay to distract my daughter from the balloon she wanted with a piece of food. It is especially not okay when said piece of food has been deep fried. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, and I stood there, explaining how she is not ready for potato wedges. That she has actually just tried a couple of foods for the first time, and her little belly is just getting used to all of these new flavors. I smiled stupidly, inviting you to share in my excitement at this next phase of her growth, of her life.
I kept going, rambling on about all of the yummy, nutritious foods I have carefully made thus far for my baby: sweet potatoes, apples, whole grain cereals… I almost went into how her eyes lit up the first time she tasted those sweet apples, when I looked up and noticed the look you were giving me. You swatted my words away like flies, and cut into the sweetness of the moment…
“Ha! You have got to be kidding me, lady. That baby is DEFINITELY ready for these potatoes. Just look at her. I would know, I have eight kids.”
He pointed at her little body. The little body shaped perfectly like a sausage, like the sweetest bear. She’s just now getting the hang of sitting up on her own, so we have been working on sitting in shopping carts “like a big girl.”
My daughter is exclusively breastfed. Do you know how challenging that can be for a working mom? We have sat curled up together for hours since her arrival to this planet - me stooping over her, she latched onto my breast. We fit. We are perfect together. We were literally made for each other.
Did you know that thanks to all of these new foods, my daughter actually hasn’t pooped for two days?* Do you know how worried I am? I know it’s “normal”, and breastfed babies can go up to seven days without any bowel movement, but did you know that MOTHER EFFING POTATO WEDGES WON’T HELP????
Did you also know that I don’t give a rat’s ass if your wedges are fried in 100% trans fat free oil? I do not need a lecture. I especially did not need you to list the benefits of letting my child gnaw on a greasy, fatty, fried potato, you condescending, sexist, potato wedge advocate. Go feed your wedges and your patriarchy to your own eight kids. .
*Edited: She has since pooped. Hooray!
Credits // Image: Moonkin